And yet, in the face of such immense greatness, many of the individual states forming this great nation are governed by infantile hypocrites whose only contribution to the advancement of humanity is to impose an intrusive petty tyranny on the most private and intimate aspects of people's personal lives.  The Alabama legislature, priding itself on just that ability, and apparently thinking it has solved all other matters of greater consequence, has now outlawed devices designed to do nothing more than enhance one of the most pleasurable and healthy of human experiences.   By so doing, not only have they betrayed the trust of Alabama's honorable citizens and again brought ridicule to the state, but they have set themselves up as living proof that the collective intellect of an entire governing body can be considerably less than that of any single one of its constituent parts.

Don't be alarmed at the warm breath you suddenly feel on the back of your neck as you lie in bed tonight.  It's probably just your friendly state senator trying to get better acquainted.  And make no mistake, the Alabama state government thinks it has as much a right to be there as you do.

Next election, send a message.  Make it your mission to know who the incumbents are.   And kick them the hell out of your bedroom.