A few days ago seven year old Josh Welch was sent home from school for chewing a breakfast pastry into the shape of a gun.
Josh takes full responsibly for trying to shape his breakfast pastry, but admits it was in innocent fun. He told FOX45, “All I was trying to do was turn it into a mountain but, it didn’t look like a mountain really and it turned out to be a gun kinda.”
When his teacher saw the strawberry tart he knew he was in trouble, he recalls, “She was pretty mad…and I think I was in big trouble.”
The school, immediately went into damage control mode trying to get a jump on the epidemic of childhood trauma caused by this disaster, sending out the following message to parents offering the services of the school’s counselor to help troubled students navigate past this devastating event and get on with their lives:
Dear Parents and Guardians:
I am writing to let you know about an incident that occurred this morning in one of our classrooms and encourage you to discuss this matter with your child in a manner you deem most appropriate.
During breakfast this morning, one of our students used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class. While no physical threats were made and no one [was] harmed, the student had to be removed from the classroom.
* * *
As you are aware, the … Code of Student Conduct and appropriate consequences related to violations of the code are clearly spelled out in the Student Handbook, which was sent home during the first week of school and can be found on our website, www.aacps.org….
If your children express that they are troubled by today’s incident, please talk with them and help them share their feelings. Our school counselor is available to meet with any students who have the need to do so next week. In general, please remind them of the importance of making good choices.
It’s pretty clear that pastries are covered under the school’s weapons ban…
Any gun of any kind, loaded or unloaded, operable or inoperable, including any object other than a firearm which is a look-a-like of a gun. This shall include, but is not limited to, pellet gun, paintball gun, stun gun, taser, BB gun, flare gun, nail gun, and air soft gun.
Josh’s dad seems to be in denial about the seriousness of the matter:
I’ll just call it insanity,” Josh’s father said. “It’s a pastry.”
Hit & Run makes this observation about the letter to parents:
To be fair, the phrasing leaves open the possibility that the students would be “troubled” not by the imaginary gun but by the suspension, and by the ensuing realization that they’re powerless pawns in a vast, incomprehensible game run by madmen.